Hello! My (user)name is Lumia Prix, and I'm a 20-something-year-old from the USA.

I express myself through art and poetry, mainly. But I also enjoy singing, reading, learning French and meditating. All of these help me to relax and better understand myself and cope with working a typical full-time customer service job.

Let's be honest; working for billionaires in this economy means that they get richer, and they give us their scraps. In this economy, having hobbies is a form of rebellion. Because how dare we make time for ourselves and develop as a person outside of pining away for money?

So yes, I am rebelling and I'm done scrolling on Instagram for hours. It's time to be the person I've always wanted to be.

For years, I've believed that I wouldn't amount to anything. My self-esteem was non-existent. I felt like a ghost amongst others for what felt like my whole life. At my highschool graduation, I was numb. My only best friend and my family celebrated with me. I should've felt happy, but I wasn't. I was done with public school. But now what???

Well, I didn't go to college because the thought of it overwhelmed me. I had average grades and never took the ACT/SATs. I also had, like... no friends besides 1 childhood best friend (who transferred to another school at our Sophomore year) and I had an unhealthy online relationship at the time. I neglected myself a lot, so having independence and being away from home understandably scared the absolute shit out of me. So I began working to save money instead.

I started making friends again online which helped me to finally cut contact with my ex for good. I didn't realize how lonely I truly was. I stayed in a relationship that began with love-bombing; he said cruel things to me only to overwhelm me with affection afterwards. I was lonely before and during that relationship. I truly didn't believe if I deserved someone better. That wasn't love, but a trauma bond. And I didn't learn what that was until I started...

My healing and self-discovery journey!!

There are more layers to that of course, but that's what the journal link on the side is for...

My journey didn't really have a start but a process. And it was a very hard one. I started taking in-person therapy for the first time and it was absolutely worth every second.

However, I still have old patterns that get in the way of my present life. I learned that I had to treat myself like a friend or a daughter even when I self-sabotaged or had setbacks and it was difficult. I kept forgetting because I still felt the sting of absolute wrongness whenever I made a mistake.

Then I had the idea of documenting my mental health journey. I had it tucked in the back of my mind instead of making it happen (an unuseful habit of mine). Then I had the idea of creating my own Neocities website from watching a YouTube video. At first, I thought it was impossible because I didn't know how to code at all. But I decided to try my hand at it with the help of a template because I wanted to create and I absolutely love customization. I'm now (kinda) learning HTML.

...And that's just the beginning!

I hope this site inspires someone who is denying their right to heal/improve themself through procrastination.. which I'm willing to bet that it stems from fear because I also felt the same way. But I promise you that things can only get better once you acknowledge your problems, reach out, and treat yourself kindly. Every step, even the smallest, will put you in the direction you want to be on because you're the one in control. You are your best friend. Make countless mistakes clumsily because they help you to learn. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

You are loved whether you believe it or not. If you don't, I hope one day you can. Because you are worthy of love, kindness, and respect. You always have been.